More thoughts on weaning

The weaning has been going ... okay. I wouldn't say fantastic and I wouldn't say horrible. Just okay.

The first night, Friday, it was fine. However, last night I could tell Monkey was yearning for the Mommy Milk. He went to sleep with a little fuss but it went relatively smooth. I think I was just feeling more guilt about it than anything else.

Then at 2:30 am this morning, Monkey awoke, very upset and I tried comforting him. I gave him some Motrin (he's teething as well) and then I held him while sitting in the chair in his room. He seemed very comforted by that. I think we sat there for about a half hour and each time I tried to put him back into the crib, he'd scream. I felt so bad. I just wanted to give it to him. My breast was humming and his discomfort and longing for it didn't help(since he was about 6 months old, only one has produced milk). So I got DH up and asked him to put Monkey to bed. DH gave him a bottle (I was hoping to not start a middle of the night bottle habit but oh well) and that seemed to calm him down. I'd say within about 10 minutes of DH taking over he was asleep. The book I've been using as reference said we might have to do this.

Earlier today, I had to pump a little just because I couldn't stand the engorgement any longer. In the middle of pumping, Monkey walked into the room and saw me doing it. Maybe it was perceived but the look on his face seemed to me like betrayal. I felt horrible.

So far tonight though, it's been okay. I gave Monkey his last bottle for the night as we laid in mommy and daddy's bed. When he was done with the bottle, he handed it to me. I sat it on the nightstand and when I turned back around, Monkey snuggled up to me putting his arm around my neck. It was like he knew that the breast wasn't available and that he'd have to settle for this. We sat there for about 15 minutes. I rubbed his back and played with his hair as I would normally do while breastfeeding. When I saw that he was getting sleepy, I picked him and took him into his room.

Monkey fussed a little when I put him into his crib and he's decided that he doesn't like his blue stuffed monkey anymore. Tonight, he wanted the Disney bear. I read him 3 books and he just rolled over onto his stomach, head turned away from me at the end of the third.

I said, "Night Night."

He said, "Nie Nie", his version of "Night Night" and simply stayed on his stomach, head turned away.

I'm very sad right now. I know this had to happen sometime and I was starting to feel awkward about the shirt lifting thing but now, I'm wondering if I can continue the weaning after I'm done with the medication. I guess we'll just have to see how we hold up.

BTW, this thing is hanging on like crazy so I hope none of you out there get it!

Mixed emotions about weaning

This weekend we're going cold turkey from breast feeding. I've been thinking about it in the past month or so but reluctant because 1) I'm lazy, 2) I know I'm going to miss that special time with Monkey, 3) it means he's no longer my little baby.

The reason isn't quite what I had envisioned but it seems like a sign or an opportunity to do so. You see, yesterday morning I awoke with a little tickle in my throat. I didn't think anything of it and thought that the antibiotics I was already on for another issue would keep it at bay. But by late last night, I was feeling really bad and didn't fall asleep until 4:00 am this morning due to sore throat and sinus drainage bothering me.

After I dropped Monkey off at the sitters, I called the doctor's office and they set me up with an early appointment. As soon as I hung up the phone, I felt a rumbling in my stomach and I realized I needed to head back home FAST. I made it just in time.

I saw the nurse practitioner and he said that I had this virus that's been going around. He had seen a lot of it this week. It's a combo head cold and diarrhea thing -- seemed weird to me but apparently others have had the same combination of symptoms. He prescribed two cough medications, both of which you aren't supposed to use while breast feeding (according to Monkey's pediatrician). One to take during the day and one at night which will knock me out.

After talking with DH about it, we agreed that maybe this is the time to wean. I could still pump and dump to keep the supply going while on the medicine but I've always hated pumping. I like breast feeding but the pumping, ugh. So boring. And we're down to only 2 feeds a day on the days he's in daycare so it shouldn't be too bad. As a matter of fact, tonight he went to sleep so readily. I just hope the rest of the weekend and weeks to come are as easy.

Still each time he reaches up for it or lifts my shirt or head butts my boobs (signs he wants milk), I know it's going to be sad moment for me to refuse him, distract him or just hand over a bottle. I will have a hard time not giving it to him. It had to happen sooner or later.

Hermits are we

DH and I recently had a discussion about how we need to de-hermitize. Due to working too much and getting used to life with child, we've cut out socialization almost completely. Me, more so than him, if you can count WoW as a social outlet. In a way it is but even the definition linked above states "to escape reality situations" and WoW is definitely a good way to do that. Although, I just read in Real Simple that playing an online game regularly is a good way to de-stress (goofydaddy -- don't tell DH! J/K).

Other than the night my SIL and I went out while all of us were at the beach, I haven't been out with anyone other than immediate family in over a month. And that's usually dinner with just DH, Monkey and I. Plus, I just haven't felt like going out. I think about it and then I think, "But going to bed early instead would be so much nicer." Or, "But I really should do X, Y, Z."

The work obligations I can't avoid but I am going to try to make an effort to de-hermitize more. The one thing going for me in this new goal is that my doctor is finally on-board with figuring out why I'm so darn tired. That was an interesting doctor's visit. Basically my blood work showed that my thyroid medicine isn't at the right dose again. If the increase doesn't work though, she wants to explore other possible causes.

I asked, "Like what other causes?"

She said, "Oh, you could be dying." HA. HA. She did have a smirk on her face and my retort was, "Oh that won't keep me up at night at all!"

But fatigue, like so many other symptoms could be a sign of anything. Hopefully it's just the thyroid meds being off.

Wait, that was a total tangent. Apologies. Loss of concentration, yet another sign of hypothyroidism.

So DH and I are trying to make an effort to not be such hermits but like any bad habit, it's so hard to break. It's much easier to just sit around and watch t.v. or play WoW or procrastinate about cleaning the fridge. If the stars align and my client decides that we are indeed moving the September 1st launch date, I'm going to go to the DC Mommy blogger dinner. If it kills me!

Bitter sweet return

Our trip to the beach didn't go quite as I had planned. But we had a good time anyway, especially Wednesday night when Monkey's aunt and I went out dancing ... Thursday morning? Not such the great morning for La Folle. I'm getting too old for that crap. Lesson learned, moving on.

We didn't go to the beach as much as I would have liked or the Boardwalk for that matter. But we got some rest and Monkey had some real quality play time with his cousins. Overall, I'd say he did pretty well. Especially considering his cousins are a bit older than him but he proved that he could hang.

DH was ready to leave but I wasn't quite ready. However, given the status of Monkey's sun poisoning (it's not red anymore but still very bumpy), we decided it was best to leave a day early. Plus, it would give us extra time to relax at home and get things back to normal (i.e. the mountains of laundry to do and the unpacking).

We talked about next year's vacation and joked that maybe we'd tell everyone we were going away but really stay home. Then we discussed seriously what a good vacation would be for us now.

You see, the beach we went to is the one my parents took me to just about every summer when I was a kid. It's changed a lot and my perspective on it has changed as well. It's quite the party town now and while there are still a number of families and family-oriented places to go, the noise at night was almost unbearable. Plus, it didn't help that our condo was overlooking the main street of the beach town. I think this may have been the last time we go to that beach town which for me is a little disheartening.

DH's point was a good one though. Instead of focusing on a particular town or resort, we should focus on what we can do as a family, especially with Monkey. At his age, there wasn't much he could do other than sit on the beach or in his stroller while we walked the Boardwalk. He was too little for most of the rides and taking him to miniature golf was a really stupid idea. Not just because he got burned but also because he only wanted to run around and snatch up the golf balls everyone was trying to play with including those not in our party. So that really left the beach, the boardwalk, shopping and restaurants. Two of which we can do right here at home.

So next year, if we're still fortunate enough to be able to take a vacation, I'm really going to give this some thought. Perhaps until he's much older it's a better idea to just visit family and friends? Or perhaps the trips should involve more site seeing like zoos, aquariums and museums? At least I have some time to think it over.

Lil' Monkey doesn't like the beach

We've gone to the beach twice and he was starting to get used to it but he was very angry about the sand and very scared of the water. Guess my dream was full of it.

I didn't factor this fear and hate into the equation. Of course he would love the beach ... not so much. Of course he would like playing in the sand ... uh, yeah right. He loves bath water, of course, he'll love the ocean. Try again.

And then there's the blunder DH and I committed yesterday.

We were very careful to slather Monkey up for the beach trips. Put the borrowed rash guard on him and used the tent (this was more his idea because he hated the sand). Then we went to the mini golf. Forgot to put the sunscreen prior to leaving so we put it on AT the put-put.

Did you know it takes about 15 minutes for sunscreen to really take effect? Well, apparently Monkey was at the mini golf in the beating sun for 15 minutes too long ... or is it too early? Either way, he got sun poisoning. Little red bumps all over his back, even where his onesie covered.

We called the doctor today who recommended some Benadryl prior to bedtime which would relieve his still bumpy and red skin. He passed out and was definitely a little loopy taking his last bottle.

I feel like the most horrible mother on the face of the earth. Poor thing. So miserable. And even worse is the little voice in my head that keeps saying, "Damn, I was hoping to get some more color before leaving."

There's always next year I guess.

Random thoughts from a tired mama

Tired. So very, very tired. So tired that while driving to go pick up Monkey from daycare I wished my vehicle had a feature whereby I could close my eyes to "rest" at red lights and this mechanism would let me know when the light turned green. That would be cool, wouldn't it? Okay, maybe not. Probably dangerous. Moving on ...

Wrestling my child into his car seat everytime we go anywhere ... so very exhausting, frustrating ... worried the neighbors or random shoppers will think I'm abusing him since he screams bloody murder every single time for the past two days. Up until then, he would fight it randomly. Not anymore. Every. Single. Time. Total of three times today.

Monkey's teething again. This time it's the upper right molar. Got up at FIVE AM. Doesn't he know mommy's been busy every night working? Oh right ...

My simplify plan? Yeah ... well, I've shot myself in the foot there. Working at work. Check. Working from home? Check. "What?!" you say. "Didn't you say you didn't want to do this?" you say. Well, I sorta volunteered for a thing ... off the books. Supposedly getting an upgrade for some software I have on my laptop in exchange (might have gotten myself into a sticky situation there). Then there's the other project I begged to be on because it involves a high profile client. What was I thinking? Oh yeah, and of course I'm going on vacation soon so everyone wants to make sure they get their stuff before I leave.

I've had some brilliant post ideas in the past few days. Can I remember them? No. Why? Lack of sleep? Perhaps. Constantly forgetting to take my thyroid medicine? Perhaps. That's a vicious circle. Forget the pill. Less memory function. Forget another pill. Even less memory function. And really dry hands. Forget to put lotion on before bed. You get the picture.

Since I can't write even a coherent blog post I'm not going to attempt to work tonight even though I should. Waah. Waah. Waah. :P

Going to get some little chocolate donuts and go to bed. Breakfast of champions ... afterall it's Olympic season.

Riot Act

It's been a couple days since I've had a pissy post, so here we go. I've been read the proverbial Riot Act three times in the past two days. The one today though ... for some reason it really got my blood boiling. Maybe it all just built up. I dunno.

This morning I made an appointment for lil' Monkey to go see the doctor because he had a nasty fall this past weekend. Yesterday and this morning, he kept rubbing the side of his head so my paranoid brain is thinking, "Great, brain bleed." The appointment to the see the doctor was for 4:15 this afternoon. This turned out to be a good thing since I had to finish upgrading my client's system which I had been working on ALL weekend long.

Just before I was supposed to leave work, around 3:15, I launched ONE MORE THING (bad idea. bad, bad idea.) and of course, it broke several pages and I needed to fix it before leaving. So I ended up leaving at 3:40 and didn't get to the sitter's to pick Monkey up until 4:05. We were going to be late, there was no avoiding it.

Apology planned in my head, I went into the doctor's office and before I could even finish writing Monkey's name in the roster, the reception says, "Is this --monkey's name--?" Before I could say, "Yes," she interrupted, "Well, you're late. 10 minutes late."

"Yes, I realize this," I said.

"Well, we can't afford for patients to be late because it puts the doctors off schedule," was her response. First of all, it's 4:25, how many more patients are coming in at this point? It seemed to me her argument was flawed and was just arguing for the sake of arguing.

Normally, I would have backed down and agreed or uttered some other weak answer. But for whatever reason, today was not such a day.

"It's not like I MEANT to be late!" I snapped.

She backed down. But I was still fuming inside. I wanted to say, "Yes. As a matter of fact, I f*%king did it on purpose! We've been sitting in the parking lot just lollygagging around just to piss you off!"

Even as Monkey and I sat in the examination room, I was still thinking about it in my head. It really shouldn't have gotten to me so much but it did.

Monkey is fine although he gave the nurses and the doctor the riot act. He just was not a happy camper about the whole visit, even the weighing on the scale where he normally does well. So I guess we're even.

P.S. I should have added that we were told via phone the night the fall happened that we should just keep an eye on him. He was acting fine other than the rubbing and DH thought I should make an appointment just to ease our minds, especially mine.

Simplify

This is the new mantra. I had to surrender to it and that's why I haven't posted in a while or commented elsewhere very much.

The line between work life and home life was becoming very blurred. I'd drop Monkey off, come home, start working and then go do laundry while my application was building. This would mean 15-20 minutes away from the computer and when I'd get back, I'd sometimes forget what I was working on specifically or where I left off. Sometimes I'd take a nap, especially if Monkey was up a lot during the night or got up really early (I can hear some of the F/T working parents moaning at that one). I'd have to make up that time elsewhere, usually late at night which meant I'd be tired again the next day. Rinse and Repeat.

All of these things were bad habits leading to a downward spiral I couldn't stop. I'd catch up in one area and then have to stay up late to catch up in the other. Plus, I would beat myself up for neglecting one or the other. Stress + guilt = more stress, less sleep. Something needed to be done.

Folks at work had been asking, "When you coming back?" and most were asking out of curiosity or in an effort to make small talk on the times I did go into the office. Others though, the ones whom I have been working with closely, seemed to have more meaning. Or perhaps that was my tired, guilt-laden mind perceiving these things.

All of these elements plus the guilt, stress and tiredness generated by them led me to caving in about coming back to the office (about a week ago). I decided that I would go in two days a week and work from home one day. They decided to find someone to handle my client's concerns on the two days I'm not available.

This week was the beginning of my new work schedule. And yes, I worked a little tonight even though this new plan was supposed to alleviate that. (Long story, but to sum up, a computer wasn't ready for me when I went into the office on Monday and I couldn't go home because DH and I had carpooled that day since his car is in the shop for some major repair.) So I'm playing catch up again only because I had deadline and still need to get my development environment working on the computer at the office.

I'm also giving my list of to-dos a niptuck including these few important changes:

1. I'm nixxing (for now) the Politics Wednesday posts. Not that I've been doing them anyway but by declaring it, I'm ridding myself of the guilt of not having done them. No promises, but perhaps when we get closer to the election, I'll start them again.
2. Dishes and laundry will only be done on my non-working days or weekends.
3. Yoga is no longer optional. My mind needs the release and my body needs the strengthening and stretching.
4. Reconnect with the people in my life, starting with my husband and son and then other family and friends. The balancing act I was performing before didn't provide much time for them.

Hopefully, all of these changes will provide a less stressful way of living and free me up to do the things I enjoy which I haven't done because of my constant balancing act.

Gimmicks Galore!

Has anyone else noticed the ridiculous gimmicks companies are coming up recently? Apparently, it's catching on with businesses everywhere across the country. Here are a few I've noticed either on television or on the radio:

$2.99 Gas Guarantee -- Chrysler's new incentive for American to start buying new cars, theirs in particular.

Free Gas Card with Golf Driver purchase -- Callaway Golf is giving away gas cards when you buy certain drivers.

Gas Receipt Discount on Mattresses -- Mattress Discounters is offering customers discounts on mattresses totalling the amount of their gas receipt.

Give blood for a chance to win gas card -- Northern Ohio American Red cross will give away five $500 gas cards to people who entered the drawing by having their blood drawn!

AND MY FAVORITE (heard originally on NPR):

Economic "Stimulus" Package at the Bunny Ranch -- Legal brothel in Nevada offering first 100 customers to show up with their stimulus rebate checks from the government twice the "services".

Seriously. Has it come to this?

"Just lost your house to the bank? Come on down to XYZ Bar with your foreclosure papers and we'll give you a free beer!"

Today's theme song

"There's a little black spot on the sun today
Its the same old thing as yesterday
Theres a black hat caught in a high tree top
Theres a flag pole rag and the wind wont stop

I have stood here before inside the pouring rain
With the world turning circles running round my brain
I guess Im always hoping that youll end this reign
But its my destiny to be the king of pain"

Yes, indeed Sting, indeed.

BTW, this song came to mind after reading a couple of work emails.

We hold these truths to be self-evident ...

I thought of this phrase the other day as I packed up all of our belongings from my MIL's house on Saturday afternoon for our trip back home. You see, I packed clothes, hygiene items, feeding accessories, ecetera for both myself and lil' Monkey for the trip. And I KNEW, I just KNEW that I'd end up packing up everything, including DH's clothes for the trip back. Why, you say? Because I'm a pushover for one, plus I'm a pretty organized packer (from all of those years as a traveling school photographer in college) AND I absolutely HATE waiting until the last minute to pack. At least, DH packed his own clothes for the trip there (20 minutes before we walked out the door, BTW).

But this got me thinking. What other things are just "truths to be self-evident" in my life? Here's a short list that came to mind as I packed:

1. Laundry. There will always be laundry. Even if you've put that last bit of clothing in the washer, the clothes you are wearing will need washing as soon as you take them off (this made me think briefly about going on a laundry strike and not changing my clothes for a week -- yeah, right, will never happen. Especially underwear! Ew! Gross!)
2. Dishes. Ditto. You've emptied the sink and the dishwasher. Now do you go on a hunger strike? Or just eat with your hands off of the floor?
3. As soon as I start to catch up on work and sleep, Monkey (or I) will get sick and I'll be back at square one in both areas and possibly more like #1 and #2.
4. If DH says he'll be home at X time and I COUNT on it by making dinner, he'll be late by 15-30 minutes. GRRRRR. This one needs to change and I've expressed it numerous times. Maybe I should keep some cake on hand ...

I'm sure there are others in my life that I'll think of tomorrow as I drag myself through the day, but these are the ones I can think of right now.

So what truths do you hold to be self-evident in your life?

A long, long weekend

Updated below

First, let me apologize for the stream of consciousness and grammatical errors you're about to endure, should you read on. I spent the earlier part of last week trying to put in as many hours as I could since I would have to take one of my three working days off for our trip to my MIL's in NC. We left Thursday night with the hope that if we traveled at night, lil' Monkey's schedule wouldn't be too messed up and he could sleep the whole way. That worked fairly well. He woke up a few times but didn't have any trouble going back to sleep.

While in NC, things went well in the sleep department, even better than it did for our last trip there. Monkey went to sleep without much fuss for both of his naps and at night. In fact, he slept longer than he usually does at home.

We originally intended to stay until Sunday morning but decided that the travel at night plan worked so well, we would do it again. Therefore, we left Saturday night. This time it didn't go so smoothly.

We had a late start since we wanted to have dinner with my in-laws prior to leaving. The Cracker Barrel we ate at was really slow. It was here Monkey started his fussing. Once dinner was over and we said our good-byes, we prayed that once he was in the car with a bottle full of milk, he'd be asleep in no time. Not so much. For about the first half-hour it was fussing, then crying, then screaming. We pulled over, changed his diaper and gave him another bottle with the understanding that if he got too bad, we'll turn around and go back to my MIL's house.

Luckily, that didn't happen. At this point, I was really looking forward to being home and I always have a difficult resolving the conflict I feel when plans are changed so drastically. For the next 2 hours, he slept.

When DH became tired and we changed drivers, Monkey woke up a little but fell back asleep with less trouble than previously. However, the rest of the way home, just about every half hour, he'd wake up a little fussing and whimpering and then fall back asleep. I'm not sure how DH slept through it but it was getting to me a little and I was really thankful when we arrived home.

Once at home, he woke up for about an hour and then went back to sleep and slept through the night. DH said he could see the comfort in lil' Monkey's face when he placed him in his crib.

On Sunday, he awoke with a fever of 101.6 and it stayed that way until he got up from his afternoon nap with a fever of 103.3. It was at this point we decided to take him to the hospital. I was so glad to have DH with me this time because I've been to the hospital so much with Monkey sans hubby. Again, they didn't keep us there long and informed us that he has the lovely coxsackie virus. Fantastic. What a way to end a tiring weekend and start my week.

I had a client meeting today that I needed to cancel. DH's car went into the shop prior to our leaving because it was having issues so our plan to drop him off at the car rental on the way to the sitter's needed to be rearranged. All of this was going through my head as the doctor told us of the diagnosis. I tried to rework the plan for the next day but was too tired and frustrated to think (as I mentioned earlier, it takes me a while to resolve that unsettling feeling when plans change).

So Monkey is allowed to go back to daycare once his fever is gone for 24 hours. I think he'll be able to go back in time for my next working day, thank goodness. He's fever has come down a lot but still around 100. I can tell he still feels a little under-the-weather because he's been fussy and not eating as well.

Once I'm rested, I have a few post ideas rattling around in my head from this past weekend I'll be writing soon.

UPDATE: Looks like Monkey will not be going to daycare anytime soon. His fever just won't go below 100. Ugh. Woe to me.

Moving to Denmark

No. Not really.

However, I just watched a report on 60 minutes about how people in Denmark are the happiest people in the world and why. For one, the education of all citizens is paid for straight through university. Also, they have paid health care and subsidies for child and elder care. That could be a good portion of the happiness they experience.

Also, they have an average 37 hour work week, little unemployment or poverty and 6 weeks of vacation. That's right. SIX WEEKS. Does Rosetta Stone sell Danish?

The country also has a low crime rate -- stabbings are considered front page big headlines in major newspapers. They also haven't experienced war or any type of conflict in over half a century.

Apparently, another reason is because they do not have high expectations. The report speculated that our need to achieve the ever-changing "American Dream" and to "keep up with the Joneses" are what cause so much unhappiness in our country. One Dane they interviewed said his goal in life was to "have a lot of time to spend with my family" and another said her goal was "to have a job I enjoy doing".

The one thing that we as Americans would not like about living in Denmark though are the taxes. Something has got to pay for all of that free stuff, right? It seems they pay around 50% of their income toward taxes (or so said the 60 minutes report).

As the report ended, I thought about how I could incorporate at least the value of not-so-great expectations into my life since I really couldn't change any of the other things dictated by our government, our culture and our history. Maybe this would be a life changing thing.

Then I changed the channel to the Fine Living Network. Oops. Mistake. I immediately saw a renovated bathroom that, of course, I instantly wanted. This new mindset won't come so easily after all.

Winter straight into Summer? Infancy to Terrible Twos?

I've heard from a number of people living in our area that we skipped Spring this year. While that's not entirely true, I understand why they would say it. We had about two weeks of nice 60s-70s weather I think and since it's been up and up and up. This past week reaching the 100s. Not the norm for this region.

On that same line of thinking, I'm wondering if my child just skipped being a one year old and went straight into the Terrible Twos? I'm probably overanalyzing and probably have no idea that what I'm experiencing now is NOTHING compared to what the Terrible Twos will actually be like. But here's what has been going on recently with the Monkey.

GETTING DRESSED: Hates it. Does not want clothing on. Will throw his back into an arch when trying to put clothes on and scream. Once the clothes are on, he's okay, it's just the getting them on that's such a major hassle now.

FOOD: When he's decided he's done with said food, he methodically throws each piece with exaggerated movement onto the floor (this one I find cute ... so far ... it does let me know he'd like to move onto the next course).

BEING HELD: He's turned into a bit of a schizo in this area. One minute wants to be held and carried around. To the point where if there's a toy on the other side of the coffee table he wants, he'll come up on my lap, wrap his arms around me and point. Then the next minute he's dead-weighting me and doing that arching back thing. I'm hoping this is just him struggling with the walking concept. He's so close but I think he gets nervous about letting go.

DIAPER CHANGING: Still an area of contention for us although I must say as long as I keep an arsenal of kiddie songs in my head and sing them very exhuberantly, he'll sit still for a little while. Most days.

SCREAMING: He learned whining a long time ago and I thought that was horrible making my chest hurt ... now he's amped it up a notch or two. Full bore screaming if he wants more Cheerios. If he wants down from the high chair. If he wants the balloon just out of reach. Although, I will admit I don't think he's reached Terrible Two status on this one yet. He's still very selective about when to use the screaming.

Some things have become a lot easier though. Bathing for instance. He's starting to enjoy it and has learned that he can play in the tub. Eating is another. While he may throw food when he's decided he's done with it, he is doing much better in the eating department than he was a few months ago. Another is playing on his own. While he's not quite to the point where he'll play on his own for a half hour or more, he's definitely starting to explore and play with things sans-Mommy. This provides me time to get things done without having to stick him in front of Baby Einstein or in the high chair with a snack so he'll stay out of the dishwasher (although I still Baby Einstein for showers).

Anyway, I'm thinking of getting a toddler book as I've reached the point where all of my baby books are of no use anymore (except the sections on illness). Maybe that will help me understand these new behavior developments.

Certain times of year

There are certain times of year when you think of things. Memories. Fond ones. Sometimes not so fond ones.

Being Memorial Day weekend, I think of DH's father and how he would go the Rolling Thunder ride in D.C. each year. That is until he passed away in 2004. It's hard to believe it's been 4 years now.

While traveling to the National Zoo for the D.C. Mommy blogger meet-up, I saw a group of motorcylists headed to the Rolling Thunder event. I started to feel very sad and forced myself not to become overwhelmed by the feeling. Each year, I know this weekend brings up painful memories for my DH and my in-laws. I try to "check in" on him by asking how he's doing. I "pseudo" check-in on my MIL by asking DH if he's spoken to her and how she is doing. I never know whether I should bring the subject up though. If he doesn't, then I suppose it's not worth mentioning and unnecessarily bring up painful memories.

I guess why I'm writing this is to ask, how do you handle similar situations? Where you have a loved one who has suffered a loss and you want to make sure they're okay without making it worse?

Muddled

Did you ever have one of those days where you kept flubbing up little things along the way and each one built up under your skin making you just feel awkward or "off"? And the whole day was just muddled?

Lil' Monkey was a little cranky when he got up. Still half-asleep, I decided to breastfeed him. This wasn't right. I should have taken him downstairs and given him his breakfast (cereal, fruit or something). So that fouled up our morning routine. He didn't want to eat, even after I waited a half-hour to try. After trying in vein to get him to eat some pears and Cheerios, we went upstairs and I put on Baby Einstein (he likes it now) while I took a shower. This wasn't right either. Normally, he plays for a bit in the kitchen while I make his bottles for daycare. Because I was just not in our routine, we ended up running late. I hurried up to make the bottles 5 minutes before we needed to leave. Then I remembered I needed a new backup outfit for his bag. Then Monkey decided that he didn't want his shoes on but wanted to "pet the tree" instead (we have a small evergreen on our dining room buffet that he likes to touch) -- I normally enjoy letting him do this but the pressure of being late and just feeling out of sorts started to make me not such the nice mommy.

Irritable, I rushed to get him into his carseat and as I'm sure any parent knows, when you are in a hurry, they fight you about EVERYTHING. He was grabbing for the car keys, grabbing at the backseat mirror, leaning over the carseat so I couldn't get his arm into the strap.

Exasperated, I said, "UGH! Please just sit still so we can get going!"

Once we were in the car and moving, I realized that my reaction wasn't one I felt comfortable with -- not since I'd be dropping him off within a matter of minutes. I wanted to leave on a good note. Just before I took him out of his carseat to give him over to the sitter, I made sure to give him a couple kisses and tell him that I love him.

And that just was the way the rest of the day went as well. Little things just being slightly off.

I opened the letter from the specialist we're seeing tomorrow only to realize that I was supposed to fill out the forms and send them by mail PRIOR to the appointment. I've had the letter for a week or more. I kept telling myself, "You need to open that." But of course, I waited until the last minute. Hopefully, they'll still take us.

While working, I kept messing up the query I was working on to get data from one database to another. Starting over at least 3 times.

When I went to pick up lil' Monkey, his sitter said that he must be getting a cold. And indeed as I looked down at him, I could see the tell-tale running nose, watery eyes and those red circles under his eyes he's been getting when sick. "I'll have to stop by the store and get some Motrin on the way home," I said to her. Did I? Nooooooo. Went on auto-pilot and drove straight home. Luckily, we still have some Tylenol in the house.

Anyway, it's just been an off day. So I apologize if this post is a little muddled.

P.S. Tonight is the FINAL for DWTS! Be sure to watch!

New Sleeping Quarters

I tried out the new guest room after its move from our basement to the top level of our home. DH actually STOPPED playing WoW at 9:00 (very rare) and went to bed with me. We watched The Office season finale and as he has no issues with falling asleep, he was OUT within 2 minutes of it ending.

So I decided to watch my recording of Lost. He was snoring SO LOUDLY that I couldn't hear the show! I kept nudging him, saying "Be quiet! I can't hear!", but he must have been really tired because he barely even moved each time. I was afraid to turn it up anymore for fear of waking lil' Monkey up in the room down the hall.

Once I struggled through Lost, I laid in bed contemplating whether or not I should move to the next room. Afterall, that's what the whole Big Move was for, right? After struggling to hear both the Daily Show and Colbert Report, I decided it was time to move.

It was a little difficult getting to sleep in the strange "new" room but eventually I did and I'm thankful I made the decision. I ended up having a pretty good night's sleep.

BIG MOVE: Update

Today we disassembled the guest bed and tore apart the basement in preparation for the carpet cleaners to come. Oddly enough, they showed up EARLY (first for us -- they always seem to show up at the very end of that time slot they give us usually). We still weren't finished taking everything apart and moving furniture out of the way. We rushed as fast as we could and decided that some things would just have to be moved by them to get to the carpet.

It looks pretty good. We'll still need to vacuum ONCE it's dry. And this is where things went a little off track. DH and I thought it would only take 2-3 hours for it to dry with windows open and a fan on in the rooms. Turns out, it takes an entire 24 HOURS to dry. That messed up our original plan majorly. So tomorrow, without anyone to watch lil' Monkey, we'll be doing shifts of putting things back together and watching Monkey. In other words, I watch him, while DH runs the networking stuff for the computers; he watches him, while I put books back on shelves, and so on.

The "girls", our 4 cats, are in their "new home" even though the carpet in that room is still damp (it dried quicker with the fan since it's a smaller area). We've made a nice little nook in there for them, each with their own place to lay and a blanket on the ledge near the window for them to use. It's not ideal but it's all we can do at this point. We need the extra space in our house and we can't have Monkey crawling on carpet that's been peed on or has cat vomit on it. The dilemma for the past year has been either deal with geriatric cats or euthanize them. We just can't bring ourselves to euthanize them at this point because their health isn't that bad yet.

This new arrangement with our computers downstairs and the guest room back upstairs will also make it easier for us to convert from guest room to second child's room should we decide to have another baby prior to being capable of leaving this house. And after checking the flyers for the house down the street and what they're selling their house for ... well, we're going to be here for A LONG TIME.

After this move is done, I'm thinking about some minor improvement for the house to make it just feel more likable at this point. Maybe more storage for our master bath ... hmmmm.

I Will Survive

As this week's earlier post demonstrated, we dealt with yet another round of stomach virus in our household. After my previous post, my own stomach issues increased and only today am I starting to feel a bit better. LUCKILY.

You see, lil' Monkey decided this week that we're actually farmers and has been getting up and hour and a half earlier than usual (5 a.m. instead of 6:30 a.m.). I keep telling him, "We're NOT farmers! You need to sleep in longer!" But apparently he thinks owning two pairs of overalls equates to living on a farm. This morning, he actually awoke at 4:55 a.m. but I laid in bed listening and desperately hoping for him to go back to sleep. I gave up at 5:17.

So as I mustered up the energy to get up and start our day, I thought of Mario's farewell dance song this week from DWTS -- I Will Survive, by Gloria Gaynor. And that was my mantra for the day.

I needed this mantra because I also had a demo for my client today which I only found out about late Wednesday afternoon. Since I was terribly sick Wednesday, I opted for bedrest instead of work that day and that night. Which meant that I was up until 1:30 a.m. this morning working on the demo for this morning's meeting (and of course, couldn't fall asleep right away so I ended up getting about 3 hours of sleep).

The meeting, which was supposed to be from 11 a.m. - 12 p.m., lasted until 2:45 p.m. because of attendee who, well, let's just say he feels the need to flush out details which have been decided on ages ago. Not just once or twice, but sometimes up to five times. Gotta love consulting!

Anyway, this left me just enough time to drive from the meeting to go pick lil' Monkey up from daycare at 4:00 and pick up some lunch on the way. I was really hoping to fit even a half hour nap in prior to picking him up but alas, it wasn't meant to be.

P.S. I realize that I haven't posted a DWTS update in about 3 weeks and a Politics Wednesday post since March. I have thoughts and ideas for both and I promise I will be bringing something soon. However, seeing how I survived the day until this point, I will be treating myself to some recorded Lost and an early bedtime. Plus, my parents are coming down tomorrow to help with the BIG MOVE, so I need rest up for that as well.

Also, lil' Monkey's diarrhea issue seems to be fading a bit since going off of the amoxicillin so I guess the sitter was correct about this one. Perhaps the three of us DID truly have different stomach things going on! Who knows at this point!

Snoring, lack of sleep and the BIG MOVE

In a previous post, I've mentioned DH's snoring and how it is causing a major lack of sleep for me. One night it got so bad that I decided to sleep in the hallway between our bedroom and our son's bedroom. As I laid on the floor trying to get comfortable, I could STILL hear his snoring even with our door shut. I thought about how to rearrange our furniture in the upper floor of our home so we'd have two completely separate living quarters. That's how angry I was at the time.

The plan was to move his computer into our bedroom and my dresser into the office. Get a daybed or probably one of those bunk beds where you could put my desk underneath since the room we're calling "our office" is small. The next morning, I told DH of my plan. Only then did he realize how serious I was about this snoring thing.

He suggested we try alternative methods first. We tried the Breathe Right strips. Nope. We tried the Snore Relief spray. Lasted about 45 minutes. We're now down to ear plugs for me and the monitor turned up sitting on my night stand so I can hear our lil' Monkey should he cry.

I don't like this solution. I hate wearing ear plugs to bed. It's a strange feeling and I worry that I might not hear lil' Monkey or something else (tornadoes, fire, any catastrophic disaster my paranoid brain can come up with at 3 a.m. in the morning as I lay awake).

So we've decided that the "office" is going BACK to basement where we had it prior to Monkey's birth. Well, not quite. It used to be in the room in our basement we now call the "guest room" but we've decided that room is now going to be the cats new home. PERMANENTLY. Our desks will go in various areas in the rest of the basement and we'll figure out the wiring, networking, ecetera somehow.

The guest bed and associated furniture, however, will be going back to their original spots in the room next to Monkey's which is now our "office". The "cat room" as it will now be called will have miscellaneous furniture in it that we can't fit elsewhere in our house and we're planning on buying one of those really nice cat trees for them.

This is a lot of work. We started this weekend by cleaning up the various Christmas storage boxes and baby items meant for storage since I neglected to put any of this stuff in our crawl space after the holidays. So we're about one-fifth of the way there. But sleep is on the horizon and hopefully, I'll be a less cranky La Folle as a result.

On a side note: Anyone's toddler eaten a bee before? We had a dead one in the track of our sliding glass door and Monkey ate it about an hour ago. We're keeping an eye on him but darn! The kid refused TOAST this morning but will eat BEES?!