Lil' Monkey's fussy period is between 4:30 pm and 6:00 pm just about everyday. Sometimes it starts later, sometimes earlier. There were days though prior to finding our P/T daycare solution that I would dread this time period (some days I still do). Since I would be running on 3-5 hours of sleep, it was really hard to sit and play with him and often that wouldn't be satisfactory anyway. He wanted to be held or bounced around or just some form of physical contact.
So one day, exhausted, I sat in front of my computer with him in my lap and answered an email for work. He got super fussy and wiggly because I wasn't paying attention to him. So, I turned to my MacBook (I keep it next to the monitor for the PC) and decided to put on For the Birds, a Pixar short I had downloaded from iTunes.
He LOVED it. I mean, he was smiling at the birds chirping and the big goofy bird talking the whole time. So this became an afternoon ritual fast. Currently, except for the days when he goes to daycare, we end up sitting in front of the Mac, watching one of these shorts (maybe up to five -- I downloaded more because I was getting bored with the birds). Now he knows that when the credits come up the movie is over and starts to fuss for another one! Bright kid, but for how long? Am I killing his brain and attention span?
The AAP recommends NO television for children under two and no more than two hours for children over 2 years of age. This seems a little extreme since most people watch television to some extent these days. So I did some more research and it seems most people just quote the AAP stance on it which is proper I guess. I did, however, run across a doctor who questioned the "blanket" statement regarding television. His point was that the reason for concern about television watching was the concept of the "electronic babysitter". That just sitting children, no matter what age, in front of a television so the parent can do something was the major concern for two main reasons: 1) no supervision of what the child is really doing, 2) no interaction with real human beings.
The highlight of the AAP's concerns seems to be that early brain development requires interaction with other human beings, especially parents, to maximize growth. They're also concerned that WHAT they see on tv influences how they respond emotionally to people or objects and cause aggression later in life.
The doctor questioning the AAP's statement seems to think that 30-90 minutes of tv watching for an infant that is developing normally and is active and curious is okay. According to a study done at Tufts University, children under the age of one do not associate the emotions of those on tv with repsonses to things in real life. However, those age one and older do.
Okay, now given those arguments, am I still doing anything wrong? Monkey's on my lap, so there's SOME interaction. And the most we watch is about a half hour of shorts. Well ... until recently.
Within the past two weeks, Monkey has had 3 teeth break through and there's still another threatening it's way through his gums. So he hasn't been the happiest baby, to say the least. Bedtime has been especially horrible. Since sucking bothers him, he doesn't want to take much from his bottle or the breast. So our normal routine of getting milk drunk before bedtime is completely out. (Don't get me wrong, there's a bath thrown in there every other night and the off-bath nights, we'd just play quietly on the floor.) I let him play on the floor but he just gets more fussy and more worked up. Out of desparation one week night, I put Ratatouille into our bedroom DVD player while trying to feed him. I had something for work due the next day and wasn't yet caught up so I was hoping for a quick bedtime routine.
Monkey would drink a little, then watch a little. Wiggle around on the bed a little. Then when the bottle was done, he'd suck from the breast a little. Wiggle a little, act like he was going to sleep then start playing again or watching the movie. We did this for about 45 minutes until he finally fell asleep in my arms. (It was kinda cute actually. His head was nestled between my shoulder and head.)
Not every night, but I'd say a total of 6 nights in the past two weeks, we've done this ritual (oddly enough, I'm not sick of Ratatouille yet) and it gets longer each time. I'm starting to get very worried. I'm going to need to put my proverbial foot down and end this tv madness soon before it snowballs anymore. But my little id talks to me each night saying, "Just get him to bed this time. We'll figure out something next time. You NEED to do X, Y and Z." Tonight, this new ritual took 1 1/2 hours (only 45 minutes of that was using Ratatouille, thankfully). Our milk drunk routine took 30 minutes tops and I miss it (that's after the bath, BTW)!
Tomorrow night I'm trying the books again. He's done with the Counting Kisses book. Well, not DONE with it, but it winds him up now, whereas before he comforted him to sleep. I have some other books which I tried last night but they were just lame. I never realized how LAME the Mother Goose Nursery Rhymes are. Some of them don't even RHYME! He probably doesn't care but as I was reading them I couldn't really do them justice, if you know what I mean. I have a set of Curious George books I thought we'd use when he got older, so I may try them next. I also just purchased the Where is Baby's Belly Button book which he seems to like.
If we can just eliminate the tv prior to bed, I think I'll feel less guilty and less like a bad mommy. I'm not sure the Pixar shorts in the afternoon are going away anytime soon and plus, that's really dwindled now since he started daycare. (Although, on a side note, I can't sit down at the computer in front of him anymore because he thinks we're supposed to watch movies when I do!)
In conclusion, how much television do you let your child watch and at what age? What do you do as a parent to get your child to bed? If books are involved, which books do you choose? How many books does it take? How long does your bedtime ritual take?
SIDENOTE: Monkey isn't really fond of Baby Einstein (the thing most mention in articles related to tv and infants). He prefers Pixar stuff. Not sure what that says about the TYPE of brain damage I'm inflicting upon him ...
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7 comments:
sometimes the afternoons were bad when ours was about your monkey's age now, and i'd have to turn on nicktoons. luckily it was usually something kinda educational and i'd only keep it on long enough to calm her down (about 5 minutes).
she never really cared for baby einstein either, and neither did we - does it really matter what a 6-9 month old is seeing on the TV? anyway, last weekend when we were both out of it and needed a break we decided to put in the baby einstein DVD that the grandparents got her for christmas. it's the first words around the house one, with Marlee Matlin signing. She LOVED it. she would sit still and just zone out staring at the TV (kinda scary, yes). But she's learning - she's done some new signs, and says a couple more words after viewing it only 3 times in the past week.
I think for infants up to a year old TV can be another tool in the parents' arsenal of calming techniques, but like most things it shouldn't be overdone or used as a substitute for more substantial developmental techniques. after a year, it's a different story and only minimal educational TV should be viewed. Yes ours learned some things from watching this baby einstein video, but she still learns a ton more just playing with us or at gymboree class so we're still sticking with under 1 hour a week.
it is good to know that it works though.
to get ours to bed, we try to keep the routine the same each night. usually there's calming music playing at a low volume, then its change to PJs, wash hands and face, brush teeth (no toothpaste of course), read a bunch of books (up to 5), hand her doogan, hand her her pacifier (it's cute when she puts in her mouth herself), turn off reading light, then she gets hugs and kisses (i like to whisper in her ear some fun things we did that day). and lay her in her crib and walk out of the room. now this routine has been tweaked over the past 9 months or so. of course every day is different, she may wake up earlier in the morning, or take a shorter nap, or maybe she's just tired earlier. but usually the routine starts at around 7:15 and she's in bed by 7:45 at the latest.
Goofy daddy pretty much summed it up.
I think actual TV watching is a lot different from an Baby EinStein DVD or a PIXAR short. I can't stand for our little girl to watch regular TV. It moves to fast and the concept of commercials (want this, buy this, you need this) drives me crazy and it's a bad lesson for a small child. I can't see how quality "TV" in small doses could be harmful. It's all in moderation! Since she is learning from the Baby Einstein DVD, I actually find it fun to sit with her and talk about what we are seeing...it's just one more learning tool for now (after we've had a trip out somewhere, playing out front, and messing up every room in the house).
Mine won't sit still for TV for more than maybe 10 minutes tops. We've tried to sit her down on occassion, but it just doesn't hold her interest. (The only thing we've put on for her is Signing Times and Baby Signing Times to help us all with our signs.) It's all about balance and moderation. I say use the TV to help during fussy periods if it works, but try to find a balance so you are not overdoing it.
Our bedtime routine every night is bath around 7 and in jammies(Londo and I take turns), I read her 3 books, I turn off the light, then I nurse her to sleep for 30-40 minutes. She's usually in the crib, fast asleep, around 8. We've been through periods where this takes much longer, and when the nursing wouldn't get her to sleep, Londo would come in and rock her until she went to sleep. I think it's all part of the fussy period phases they go through. Can your hubby try rocking him after you nurse him if he's not asleep?
Books: I love the the That's Not My... series and other touch and feel books. I've just started getting into the Sandra Boyton books, and I'm loving those.
GL!
Thanks everyone for your comments and suggestions.
goofydaddy -- We definitely need to add in the toothbrushing now. We have a toothbrush from the dentist just for him that use on him after I brush in the morning but evenings should be incorporated as well. Have you tried the Oral-B baby paste? Our dentist gave us a sample and it is safe for them to swallow.
caramama -- We read the Touchy Feely books during the day so maybe I should add them to the night routine. He's just recently learned where all of the touchy feely spots are on that Teddy one I bought when you and I were out at lunch that one time. I also bought the dragon one since the Teddy one was getting predictable for him and he just wanted to chew on it instead. I'll have to look into the Sandra Boyton books! Plus get another bookshelf since the one we have is full (not just books but knick-knacky things we've received as well).
OH BTW, I tried the book theory last night at midnight when he awoke again. NO TV. Just books but they didn't seem to help. I finally ended up taking him into our bedroom letting him eat while I sang to him. Once the Tylenol kicked in, he was out again. Poor thing! I hope it's a while before he gets another tooth since these last 4 came all at once practically!
I bought the Oral-B toothpaste when we first started brushing her teeth and the dentist told me not to use it because it wasn't necessary. She said that I should only use a tiny tiny bit if she notices that I use paste and she wants it too. So far it hasn't been a problem. A couple months ago our little girl stopped letting me brush her teeth (it's all part of the independent toddler syndrome), so I've taught her back and forth and she seems to do an ok job. Thank goodness they aren't permanent teeth!
I think a consistent bed-time routine is important. Find a good one and stick to it. Then he will always know what's coming next and that in itself will calm and help prepare for sleep.
Monkey's bedtime routine was pretty consistent prior to the bad teething experience. I didn't really fully describe it before. At 6 he gets baby food. When he's finished I fix his bottle and we play a little unless it's bath night, then he gets a bath (usually DH gives him his bath unless he arrives home too late). At 7, we start the bottle. If he's looking for more when the bottle is finished, I give him the breast and that's when he starts to get sleepy. He'd be milk drunk and quite cozy by 7:30. But all of that is out the window now.
Tonight, we did two Pixar shorts before his baby food at 6. And because Daddy was late, he got to play with him in between eating and his bottle -- this is never good because DH tends to play vigorously. Plus, he was fussy to begin with so it didn't help things to get him worked up again. BUT he got the bottle WITHOUT Ratatouille tonight. We read some books but I'll need to figure out a new routine. A good dose of Motrin which according to our caregiver, should last longer than the Tylenol we were using seemed to do the trick this evening. We'll see.
Thanks for the advice.
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