first let me apologize for the all lowercase and spelling mistakes. i'm typing this entry with one hand as my other hand is busy holding the beast pump.
Life with Monkey has been both quite difficult and wonderful for all of us.
the first week home was really hard because we couldn't get him to latch on properly since we had made the decision to give him formula in the hospital to help with his jaundice levels.
the second week, he had finally latched on well (well enough anyway -- mommy's taking one for the team in the nipple area). however, he was so fussy after feeding and would feed endlessly. then he would make these horrific grunting and gagging noises while spitting up milk. i know babies grunt and make noises but these were scary noises, like choking noises. at this point, we decided that i should cut out cow's milk from my diet. and for those of you that know my diet well, i LOVE milk. this missing ingredient from my diet has been hard for me.
so beginning of week three, with the grunting and scary choking noises still happening, we took him back to the doctor hoping to get an answer other than "turn the monitor down" which is what the doctor said at his two week check-up. we were lucky to get another doctor in the office and she identified it as acid reflux and prescribed zantac for him. it has alleviated the choking noises mostly but he still grunts loudly and makes "horsey" noises all the time after feeding.
life with baby has been challenging and some days i feel really depressed. my life has basically become this: feed baby, change baby, feed baby again, change baby again, pray he goes to sleep so i can catch a wink, rinse and repeat. i knew it would be difficult and that i wouldn't be able to do much outside of taking care of the baby. the one thing i wasn't prepared for was how monotonous and lonely it all can be. yet at times, because of the lack of a timetable for these events, it feels chaotic.
some days i feel like i'm being held captive in my own house -- by a infant! but i love my captor, especially when he decides to open his eyes for his feeding and looks up at me. that makes the nipple pain, lack of sleep and general chaos worth it.
gotta run, my captor has awakened!
