When leaving high school, I went off to college in Philadelphia. I did this not just because I wanted to go to college but because my then boyfriend, a year older than me, was already attending a different college in that city. I regret that decision most in my life. While my time there made me learn a lot of things, not from my classes mind you although I did learn a thing or two there as well, I really set myself up for heartache, bad memories and just not a very good run of it.
The friends I left behind hated said boyfriend and looking back, I should have listened to them. But I was IN LOVE and thought I could change him. Ah yes, stupid youth. I wasted too many years on him.
I let those friendships wane after a while. I persisted to stay with the idiot and they moved on with their lives without me. I missed a good bit of their lives and I wish now I had been there.
I'm recounting this because I was fortunate enough to reconnect with them through Classmates.com just prior to our 10 year high school reunion (which was a couple years ago -- yes, I'm an old lady now). Even though I couldn't make it to the reunion due to emergency surgery (the doctor discovered a pituitary cyst that needed to be removed), we reconnected and have stayed connected since then.
Today we had lunch at one friend's house. She just happened to move to a town that's EXACTLY halfway between myself and the other friend. The friend who was playing hostess isn't just a friend from high school but from 1st grade! I'm so glad that we've reconnected. We are quite different in our world views now. However, the bonds we forged in our early lives are still strong and we respect each other's opinions, even if we don't agree. My other friend I've known since 6th grade. She and I were inseparable until I met the idiot. We're a little more alike in our world views and we, too, respect each other even though I let her friendship go for what ended up being the worst decision in my life. I'm very thankful they're so forgiving.
This was the first time we've all been together with our children. The hostess started her family long before my other friend and I and it was neat to see us all together with our little offspring playing with each other. And even though I couldn't contribute much to the conversations due to chasing lil' Monkey around the floor and trying to prevent him from pulling hair or breaking toys, I still really enjoyed just being there. Just listening to them talk.
We're so close that we share what I'd say is pretty much everything that's going on in our lives. It's rare you find friends so great that you can let your guard down so easily and know in the end, they'll still love you.
So I guess I'd like to just say to them, should they visit tonight, I love you both and I'm so happy to have you in my life.
Saturday, March 22, 2008
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4 comments:
Yeah! That's so great that you have gotten back in touch with them and are able to get together.
Trust me....they are blessed to have you in their lives too. In our busy lives we sometimes don't take the time to tell people how important they are in our life or how they have influenced you. I want to thank you J for this great blog. As a semi-new mom, it's good to know others have the same worries. You're doing a great job!!
....Ok now I need to call my Mom!!
I tried to post a comment a few minutes ago but lost it. Ugh! Anyway, I wanted you to know how wonderful it was to see you and J that Saturday and to meet your little darlings. I'm so glad that you got in touch with us. I thought about you a lot over the years.
We've all made mistakes, especially in our youth. I think that I was too busy being self-righteous and preachy and should've just been your friend. I let the abuser accomplish his goal, which was to isolate you from the people that cared about you. For that, I'm very sorry.
It warms my heart that you're happy now with a great family. I look forward to our next visit!
Love ya!
lilmary -- No worries. I understand it was hard to watch us, the Idiot and I, in action. Plus, to quote a Madonna song, he was my "lesson I had to learn". I just wish the lesson were shorter!
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