Diaper Changing Fiasco

Lil' Monkey has been a complete monster lately when it comes to changing his diaper (unless he's just awakened and I love those diaper changes). He wiggles to the left, put his legs over his head, wiggles to the right, and grabs his penis or the wipee out of my hand. While trying to get him to stay on his back, he gets really angry and either screams or cries.

I've tried singing to him. Old McDonald worked for a while, then I had to switch it up to BINGO, then to Row, Row, Row Your Boat. I've even tried what words I remember from the Dirty Jobs theme music.

I've tried looking him straight in the eye and talking or making funny faces.

I've tried giving him items to distract himself with like the wipes, the container the wipes are in, his sock or a diaper.

I've tried changing him STANDING UP (which isn't easier as I've read before).

I've tried all four of these AT ONCE. Still a wiggly, upset little boy with a seriously crooked, leak-prone diaper.

I've been getting really angry as well over this little routine. It's come to the point where I DREAD changing his diaper. DREAD IT. HATE IT. LOATH IT. (Except those early morning changes -- still loving those.)

Last night, he was difficult to get to bed because he had a shot yesterday afternoon and therefore, didn't nap until late and not very well. Mid-bedtime routine, I realized that the diaper I put on him less than an hour prior was already semi-full of pee. Ugh. Can't send him to bed with that.

Let's just say that changing his diaper at that point last night made my blood boil. I raised my voice more than I would like to admit. After he finally went to sleep, I left his room and went to our bedroom full of guilt and shame. I started to cry and DH wanted to know why. I explained and said, "I NEED a solution. This just isn't good."

Now there was a lot more on my mind as well but this set me off on a pity party that lasted about a half hour. I cried and explained to DH that I'm disappointed in myself because I haven't caught up on work (so close, but as I posted earlier this week, no cigar), the house needs an extensive reorg due to the amount of stuff we've accumulated since Monkey's birth and to top it off, I'm a horrible mother because I can't even diaper my child without it being a major battle that infuses me with anger. Being sick and drained from the sickness probably didn't help either.

As I calmed down, I came to my senses and said to myself, "I can't be the only one." So off to the Interweb!

I found tons of results with the same suggestions I've already tried. The only one I found that we don't DO anymore was letting the child roam the house without a diaper (with a little side note to follow said child in case any "mistakes" happen).

We call this Free Willy time. He used to get Free Willy time just before his bath when DH would strip him down and let him stand in his crib while DH ran his bath. Monkey LOVES this and we used to love it, too, because he'd just stand there with his hands on the crib railing laughing his little head off. Last week, DH came back into the room to find Monkey peeing through the bars of his crib onto the carpet prior to his bath on two different occasions. Thus, Free Willy time ended.

Now, mind you, Free Willy time was still happening when this whole diaper changing fiasco began about 3 weeks ago. So having Free Willy time obviously was not the answer to my diaper changing woes.

I went to bed still feeling hopeless. Then I decided to browse through a book I bought called Raising a Happy, Unspoiled Child by Burton L. White. I must say his writing style is a little dry and he focuses on milestones as if most mothers out there have no idea what they are. And honestly, until I read something about his wife and how she handled one of their children, I would have thought this man was childless just because of the way he referenced the children in his studies. But that's beside the point. I skipped to a chapter where he talked about diapering and how this simple everyday act could shape a child's behavior and personality.

Mr. White starts by saying to have all of your accoutrements ready. Okay, DUH. Then he says to tell your child, "Mommy is going to diaper you," then don't say another word. Give them a special toy that they only get to hold while getting diapered and proceed. If it's going well, you can talk or sing or whatever with the child. If it's not going well, NO talking. Specifically, "... use your superior strength to get the job done, silently." His theory is "... your concern (the reason you try to explain and console) only reinforces the resistance rather than minimizing it."

Normally, I would think this was a little harsh. But given what I was experiencing, I decided to try it today. SO FAR, it has worked. The only part of it that is a little hairy still is when I have to take the "diapering" toy away (he's definitely reached that particular milestone, where were you on that one, Mr. White?). I've resorted to quickly picking him up and singing or making funny faces again after prying the toy from his hands. Probably undoing all of Mr. White's advice about consoling and reinforcing behavior.

He also states, "In actuality, once understood, diapering becomes an easy and remarkably effective opportunity for you to teach the baby that you are really in charge and that while she is dearly loved and will most of the time get what she wants, and quickly, sometimes that won't happen."

I'm hoping his theory is correct. I'm not sure it's a life lesson quite yet but I'll settle for less stressful diaper changes.

DWTS -- Winner of round one

Looks like 33% of us were correct in choosing Kristi Yamaguchi as one the week's winners. I was going to discuss this more but I'm still sick and Monkey was a major PITA at bedtime (he had a shot today and got a late nap).

Just when you think you're catching up

Starting Saturday, my neck began to ache. Not really my neck I guess, but that fleshy area between your neck and shoulder. Trapezius. That's it. So finally Monday morning I decided to call a chiropractor. I saw him that afternoon and the relief from the visit lasted until bedtime. I awoke this morning still with a stiff neck and shoulder. AND a stuffy nose, watery eyes, plus, just feeling very tired on top of it all.

It figures, you know. I'm making headway with work and was gearing up mentally for the stuff I'd like to do around the house after my work obligations were met AND BAM! SICK! Yay.

Tomorrow is going to be hectic for me. I have to drop Monkey off at 8:45, have a chiro appointment at 9:10, have a meeting at work at 10:00, have a vet appointment for my hyperthyroid cat at noon, have to pick Monkey BACK up at 1:45 so we can make his 2:15 appointment for his 9 months shots which are already late because I didn't make the appointment until a week before he should have had them. So when DH asked if I made a doctor appointment, I got a little flustered. WHEN AM I GOING TO FIT THAT IN?!!!

I was hoping to work some tonight but Monkey refused to go to sleep until about a half hour ago. I started work and my head hurts so much from the sinus pressure that I just couldn't concentrate. So instead, I decided I'd write a poorly written, scatteredbrain post.

But the thing I really wanted to express in this post wasn't how aweful things were today and probably will be tomorrow. I wanted to express how frustrated am I at this roller coaster ride I seem to be on constantly. JUST when I think I'm catching up, WHAMMO, roadblock. It's either I'm sick or Monkey is sick. Or someone quits unexpectedly at work and I'm dumped with their workload (um, hellloooo, I'm PART-TIME people!). Or it's a holiday and I'm forced to concentrate on the tangent items that brings with it. UGGGGGH.

Do you feel like this as well? Is this just life? I feel like everyone else is moving on, getting stuff done while I'm treading water half the time.

BTW, in case anyone is wondering, DH can't go to those things tomorrow due to work obligations that he just can't get out of this time.

Letters to Monkey

Caramama routinely writes posts to her daughter and sometimes quips responses from her daughter. I read about something similar in one of Real Simple's special Family issues. They had a bunch of letters that parents had written to their children to be read at certain times of their life. I thought this was a great idea and had written my own when he was only 12 weeks old. Tonight, as I was going through the My Documents folder on my PC, I found it. Below is the letter I wrote, intending to give it to him in an envelope when he finally went off to college or decided to find a job in another state, or whatever it is that requires him to finally leave our nest.

I think I may continue to write these periodically when I think of advice or sentimental things I hope for him to understand at a certain phase or moment in his life. Depending on the level of personal expression, I may post them here occasionally.

To my dear little boy

Age 12 weeks
To be read when you are ready to leave the “nest”

I’ve just fed you and tucked you in for the night and for two nights in a row; you’ve gone to bed pretty peacefully. As you’ll probably know by now, your mother has a paranoid side to her (thanks to your maternal grandmother who is much more cautious than even I am). And right now, I’m wondering if you’re “going down” too peacefully and if I should be checking for signs of some illness.

Early tomorrow morning, hopefully around 4:00 a.m. (this means you’ve let me “sleep in”), you’ll wake up fussy or even crying – ready to eat again. I’ll feed you and gently place you back in your crib. Then I’ll go back to bed, exhausted, longing for that precious new-parent commodity, SLEEP. However, once I go to bed, I won’t be able to sleep. I’ll find myself listening intently to the monitor for any signs of distress. Unfortunately, you have Gastroesophageal Reflux Disease and this causes you great discomfort after feeding and occasionally, you’ll spit up or make choking noises. You’ll grunt and then there will be silence. I’ll start to fall asleep and you’ll grunt some more. Instantly, I’ll awaken. If the grunting turns into more throaty sounds, I’ll be quietly, but quickly walking down the hallway to check on you. I’ll creep up to your crib and look for your belly to rise and fall with each breath. Examine your face and sleeping posture. Then once satisfied that no action is needed (and the most that’s ever needed is a quick wipe with the burp cloth), I’ll saunter back down the hallway and once more climb into bed.

My point in telling you this is to let you know that as much as I want you to grow up to be a smart, funny, responsible young man, I’ll wish I could have a monitor while you’re away at college or whatever venture is next for you. I know that in order for you to become your own person, you’ll need to leave our nest. I know I’ll need to let you go. I’ll miss you and will always welcome my little bird back to the nest.

P.S. A call every once in a while wouldn’t hurt. :)

Good to see old friends

When leaving high school, I went off to college in Philadelphia. I did this not just because I wanted to go to college but because my then boyfriend, a year older than me, was already attending a different college in that city. I regret that decision most in my life. While my time there made me learn a lot of things, not from my classes mind you although I did learn a thing or two there as well, I really set myself up for heartache, bad memories and just not a very good run of it.

The friends I left behind hated said boyfriend and looking back, I should have listened to them. But I was IN LOVE and thought I could change him. Ah yes, stupid youth. I wasted too many years on him.

I let those friendships wane after a while. I persisted to stay with the idiot and they moved on with their lives without me. I missed a good bit of their lives and I wish now I had been there.

I'm recounting this because I was fortunate enough to reconnect with them through Classmates.com just prior to our 10 year high school reunion (which was a couple years ago -- yes, I'm an old lady now). Even though I couldn't make it to the reunion due to emergency surgery (the doctor discovered a pituitary cyst that needed to be removed), we reconnected and have stayed connected since then.

Today we had lunch at one friend's house. She just happened to move to a town that's EXACTLY halfway between myself and the other friend. The friend who was playing hostess isn't just a friend from high school but from 1st grade! I'm so glad that we've reconnected. We are quite different in our world views now. However, the bonds we forged in our early lives are still strong and we respect each other's opinions, even if we don't agree. My other friend I've known since 6th grade. She and I were inseparable until I met the idiot. We're a little more alike in our world views and we, too, respect each other even though I let her friendship go for what ended up being the worst decision in my life. I'm very thankful they're so forgiving.

This was the first time we've all been together with our children. The hostess started her family long before my other friend and I and it was neat to see us all together with our little offspring playing with each other. And even though I couldn't contribute much to the conversations due to chasing lil' Monkey around the floor and trying to prevent him from pulling hair or breaking toys, I still really enjoyed just being there. Just listening to them talk.

We're so close that we share what I'd say is pretty much everything that's going on in our lives. It's rare you find friends so great that you can let your guard down so easily and know in the end, they'll still love you.

So I guess I'd like to just say to them, should they visit tonight, I love you both and I'm so happy to have you in my life.

"You make it look so easy."

Okay, I lied. Apparently I DO have something to say. AND it's a LONG one.

Today I went into the office for an All-hands meeting. Afterwards, a co-worker of mine pulled me into her office while I was walking to another area of the building for another meeting. She just entered her third trimester and was asking me questions. I could tell she was really nervous about the whole thing because as she mentioned more than once, neither her nor her husband have family in the U.S. or many friends in this area. She was asking me about whom to approach in the office about maternity leave, the benefits our company provides, etc. I described the appropriate channels to go through and how the leave worked (or the best I could since my memory for things even 9 months ago is horrible).

She kept saying, "I'm so scared," and asked if it, it being Motherhood, was any easier now that lil' Monkey is almost a year old.

First, this was a wakeup call to me. I bitch, whine and moan about how horrible things are, how I can't catch up on ANYTHING and how I'm always yearning for just one more hour of sleep. However, in that moment, I flashed back to when Monkey was first born. Things were difficult. Much more difficult than they are now. At least now, I have some semblance of what to do and when to do those things. I may not be on the mark each time but I pretty much know now when his diaper is dirty, when he's hungry, how to feed him (although that is ever changing as we move into the land of solids) and when he's ready to sleep.

Second, I wasn't sure what to tell her. I didn't want to sugar coat it yet I didn't want to horrify her anymore than she already was. PLUS, there was a ticking clock in my head since my PM had just popped into her office with a head nod meaning, "I'm ready whenever you are."

I said, "The first three months are hard. I won't lie. But then things get better and around 3-4 months you can try getting the baby on a schedule and by 6 months, things are even better. Then they turn mobile and it's a whole new ballgame." Did I go to far with that last one? Oops ... okay backtrack ... "But you're learning each thing as you go not all at once as you are in the first three months." Damn, why'd you say that?!

Then, she said to me, "You make it look so easy."

I paused for more than a second thinking back on all of the times I've been to the office since Monkey's birth. Up until we got the sitter a month ago, I'd often have him with me for a brief meeting with my PM which meant usually having to pacify him, rock him or feed him in order to cause as little commotion as possible. I'd often wonder after leaving the office, "They must hate me and think I'm a mess."

Finally, I responded, "Oh, that's just a facade. Sometimes on the inside, I'm freaking out." More like, MOST of the time. I just hope I didn't send too much of a mixed message to her this afternoon.

I did divert the conversation quickly at the end to the new breast pump she had on the floor, still in the box. It's the same one I use. I said, "Oh that's a good pump. You'll like it." Then for some reason I felt obligated to say something about breastfeeding (I usually leave this sensitive topic alone but since I KNEW she was considering it by the evidence of the pump, I thought I'd broach it).

"Oh and don't be too hard on yourself about the breastfeeding. It takes time and it's not as easy as popping the kid on. So don't beat yourself up if you don't get it right away." Then I recounted one of my favorite passages from a mothering book I have, "It's like dancing with a new partner. You're both learning the dance. You have to learn and he has to learn, so it takes a while to get it right." I'm positive those are not the EXACT words from the book but the sentiment is the same.

After my meetings, I finally left work and after picking Monkey up from the sitter's, I was marveling at how "put together" our sitter seems. I mean the woman was washing WINDOWS at 8 o'clock this morning when I dropped him off!! AND she had obviously organized her entire garage sometime between Wednesday when I picked Monkey up and this morning! And she has 3 boys of her own, who BTW, are all off from school this week! I'm constantly telling DH about how she just HANDLES it, whatever IT may be. I say how much I wish I could be like that because whatever IT is, she's calm and collected or firm when needed. Not flustered or distressed like I am when Monkey won't cooperate (especially when he won't let me finish putting his diaper on -- boy does that get me worked up). I mean, I've YELLED once before and felt miserable afterwards for having done it. This isn't a regular occurrence by any means but the fact that I couldn't just HANDLE it in a suitable fashion just distressed me more.

"You make it look so easy."

I haven't uttered these words to my sitter but I've certainly thought it. I wonder if she ever feels like I feel. Or has ever lost her cool. Do we all lose our facade when others aren't around? Is there a way for me to somehow incorporate this facade into my repertoire of parenting skills and use it even when no one is around? And if so, is that unhealthy?

Checking In, Nothing to Say

I don't really have anything witty, profound or even silly to write this week. I've been reading the other great blogs and well, I'm feeling like A) my grammar sucks, B) my vocabulary is weak, and C) my topics are dull. So until a bolt of lightning sparks within this dim-witted dame's brain or I'm just feeling a little better in general, the posts will be sparse and probably not profound in the least.

However, I did update this blog with posts from my old blog (only those about Pregnancy and Parenthood). You can find them under the "Pre-blogger" topic.

Next week, I'm doing a book review of The Balanced Mom by Bria Simpson.

DWTS -- Ooops, no winner this week!

Sorry folks! I forgot that at the beginning of the season, they do the whole two week elimination schedule. So that means no one will win or be eliminated until next week. Tonight was just the guys dancing and tomorrow will be the gals. Therefore, I've updated the closing date on the poll to midnight of NEXT monday.

Thanks for coming out to vote! I'll update with comments about the dancing either tomorrow night or Wednesday night once I have the time to watch the rest of it on our DVR and see both groups.

Moving old posts -- cheating?

My personal website contained my blog until December 2007. It was at that time I decided that maybe I should switch to using a different blog posting mechanism instead of my homegrown blog which I put together using BlogEngine.NET and Subsonic. It was okay but I was never really satisfied with it. Hence, the creation of this blog last December.


I've had issues with people getting to my personal website in the past. Therefore, I've decided to move it to a free hosting solution with my domain name provider, Go Daddy (they gave me "credits" since I've registered quite a few names with them).

Now, I've always been opposed to FREE hosting because it's not really free. They put ads on your site and that's aesthetically unpleasing since you can't move them to another place on the page. But I've decided to succumb to the advertising in an effort for friends and family to have the ability to access it without issue.


Okay, why this is important to this blog since my personal website is closed to the general public ...


After reading Caramama's posts about Pumpkin's first year, I realized that with my memory being as horrible as it is, I might want to save at least the posts I did regarding my pregnancy, lil' Monkey's birth and the experiences I had afterward. I was going to wipe everything off the database and start fresh with the new site but I think I may move at least those particular posts to this blog and label them "Pre-Blogger" or something. At least I'll have them here with the other Parenthood posts.


Is this cheating? I kinda feel like it might be. Plus, I'm still debating on whether I should bring over the comments as well. That would take a while I think. Plus, do I just post all of them as anonymous or contact the individual commenters (I know them all personally except one) to get approval? Not sure.


What are your thoughts on the matter? Is this cheating? What to do with the comments?

Missing that Get Up and Go Freedom

Somedays, not often but occasionally, I mourn the loss of non-baby freedom. Heck, I still sometimes mourn the non-married freedom. Today was such a day.

It's Wednesday, so that means I get a "day off" as DH puts it. It's not really a day off but lil' Monkey goes to daycare and I get 7-8 hours of time to do work or clean house or take a solid 1-2 hour nap without fear of a fussy baby. DH has come down with a stomach virus so he stayed home today. As bad as I felt for him, I also felt a little infringement of my "day off".

Earlier today, I got an email from work about our St. Patrick's Happy Hour tomorrow night. When DH hinted at staying home from work tomorrow, I asked about going to the happy hour. His response was that we probably shouldn't leave Monkey with him if he is still sick. Good point. And this is when I secretly longed for pre-baby times. Just a minute ... or two.

When I'm listening to music while coding (that is on my "day off" when I don't need to use headphones and keep the baby monitor in front of my computer monitor), I sometimes wish I could go out dancing again. Go clubbing. Flirt. Not get home until 4 am. Be a little irresponsible. Just a tad.

But then I remind myself that even prior to Monkey's birth, I wasn't really going to work happy hours very much anyway. I'd always WORK late and then miss it. I also remind myself that I'm too old for clubbing. My poor old body just can't handle an evening like that anymore or any type of vigorous dancing.

With or without baby, neither wouldn't happen anyway. I suppose everyone hates being a grown up sometimes.

What do you miss most about your pre-baby or pre-marriage life?

DWTS Line Up -- Season Six

Dancing with the Stars is starting back up this upcoming Monday, March 17 on ABC (I should get paid for this plug). Just in time to fill the void from Project Runway ending! Both shows are a guilty pleasure of mine and I'm hoping you'll join me in watching this season of DWTS! The list of stars this season is very impressive and surprising (last season there weren't that many big names). I think those who normally don't watch the show might just tune in because of the stars they've chosen this season.

Here's the list of stars and their corresponding dance instructors:

• ADAM CAROLLA & JULIANNE HOUGH


• CRISTIÁN DE LA FUENTE & CHERYL BURKE


• SHANNON ELIZABETH & DEREK HOUGH


• STEVE GUTTENBERG & ANNA TREBUNSKAYA


• PENN JILLETTE & KYM JOHNSON


• MARIO & KARINA SMIRNOFF


• MARLEE MATLIN & FABIAN SANCHEZ


• PRISCILLA PRESLEY & LOUIS VAN AMSTEL


• MONICA SELES & JONATHAN ROBERTS


• JASON TAYLOR & EDYTA SLIWINSKA


• MARISSA JARET WINOKUR & TONY DOVOLANI


• KRISTI YAMAGUCHI & MARK BALLAS

I don't know about you, but I'm highly interested in seeing quite a few of these individuals dance! I'm especially curious about Penn Jillette's dancing capabilites and those of Adam Carolla. Question is, which one will turn out to be the obligatory season clown? Perhaps it will be Steve Guttenberg?

I'm starting a poll to see who YOU think will come in first place on week one! Poll voting will end at midnight following Monday night's show (the first part when only the judges vote). Then we'll see if we're right the next night when the public votes as well! If you're feeling crazy, go ahead and vote now!

Also, if you care to comment, which stars do you think have an unfair advantage due to their current or past professions? There's always a few questionables like Drew Lachey, Joey Fatone, or Laila Ali. I think that Kristi Yamaguchi might have an advantage due to the figure skating. What do you think?

Bad Mommy? TV and new bedtime routine

Lil' Monkey's fussy period is between 4:30 pm and 6:00 pm just about everyday. Sometimes it starts later, sometimes earlier. There were days though prior to finding our P/T daycare solution that I would dread this time period (some days I still do). Since I would be running on 3-5 hours of sleep, it was really hard to sit and play with him and often that wouldn't be satisfactory anyway. He wanted to be held or bounced around or just some form of physical contact.

So one day, exhausted, I sat in front of my computer with him in my lap and answered an email for work. He got super fussy and wiggly because I wasn't paying attention to him. So, I turned to my MacBook (I keep it next to the monitor for the PC) and decided to put on For the Birds, a Pixar short I had downloaded from iTunes.

He LOVED it. I mean, he was smiling at the birds chirping and the big goofy bird talking the whole time. So this became an afternoon ritual fast. Currently, except for the days when he goes to daycare, we end up sitting in front of the Mac, watching one of these shorts (maybe up to five -- I downloaded more because I was getting bored with the birds). Now he knows that when the credits come up the movie is over and starts to fuss for another one! Bright kid, but for how long? Am I killing his brain and attention span?

The AAP recommends NO television for children under two and no more than two hours for children over 2 years of age. This seems a little extreme since most people watch television to some extent these days. So I did some more research and it seems most people just quote the AAP stance on it which is proper I guess. I did, however, run across a doctor who questioned the "blanket" statement regarding television. His point was that the reason for concern about television watching was the concept of the "electronic babysitter". That just sitting children, no matter what age, in front of a television so the parent can do something was the major concern for two main reasons: 1) no supervision of what the child is really doing, 2) no interaction with real human beings.

The highlight of the AAP's concerns seems to be that early brain development requires interaction with other human beings, especially parents, to maximize growth. They're also concerned that WHAT they see on tv influences how they respond emotionally to people or objects and cause aggression later in life.

The doctor questioning the AAP's statement seems to think that 30-90 minutes of tv watching for an infant that is developing normally and is active and curious is okay. According to a study done at Tufts University, children under the age of one do not associate the emotions of those on tv with repsonses to things in real life. However, those age one and older do.

Okay, now given those arguments, am I still doing anything wrong? Monkey's on my lap, so there's SOME interaction. And the most we watch is about a half hour of shorts. Well ... until recently.

Within the past two weeks, Monkey has had 3 teeth break through and there's still another threatening it's way through his gums. So he hasn't been the happiest baby, to say the least. Bedtime has been especially horrible. Since sucking bothers him, he doesn't want to take much from his bottle or the breast. So our normal routine of getting milk drunk before bedtime is completely out. (Don't get me wrong, there's a bath thrown in there every other night and the off-bath nights, we'd just play quietly on the floor.) I let him play on the floor but he just gets more fussy and more worked up. Out of desparation one week night, I put Ratatouille into our bedroom DVD player while trying to feed him. I had something for work due the next day and wasn't yet caught up so I was hoping for a quick bedtime routine.

Monkey would drink a little, then watch a little. Wiggle around on the bed a little. Then when the bottle was done, he'd suck from the breast a little. Wiggle a little, act like he was going to sleep then start playing again or watching the movie. We did this for about 45 minutes until he finally fell asleep in my arms. (It was kinda cute actually. His head was nestled between my shoulder and head.)

Not every night, but I'd say a total of 6 nights in the past two weeks, we've done this ritual (oddly enough, I'm not sick of Ratatouille yet) and it gets longer each time. I'm starting to get very worried. I'm going to need to put my proverbial foot down and end this tv madness soon before it snowballs anymore. But my little id talks to me each night saying, "Just get him to bed this time. We'll figure out something next time. You NEED to do X, Y and Z." Tonight, this new ritual took 1 1/2 hours (only 45 minutes of that was using Ratatouille, thankfully). Our milk drunk routine took 30 minutes tops and I miss it (that's after the bath, BTW)!

Tomorrow night I'm trying the books again. He's done with the Counting Kisses book. Well, not DONE with it, but it winds him up now, whereas before he comforted him to sleep. I have some other books which I tried last night but they were just lame. I never realized how LAME the Mother Goose Nursery Rhymes are. Some of them don't even RHYME! He probably doesn't care but as I was reading them I couldn't really do them justice, if you know what I mean. I have a set of Curious George books I thought we'd use when he got older, so I may try them next. I also just purchased the Where is Baby's Belly Button book which he seems to like.

If we can just eliminate the tv prior to bed, I think I'll feel less guilty and less like a bad mommy. I'm not sure the Pixar shorts in the afternoon are going away anytime soon and plus, that's really dwindled now since he started daycare. (Although, on a side note, I can't sit down at the computer in front of him anymore because he thinks we're supposed to watch movies when I do!)

In conclusion, how much television do you let your child watch and at what age? What do you do as a parent to get your child to bed? If books are involved, which books do you choose? How many books does it take? How long does your bedtime ritual take?

SIDENOTE: Monkey isn't really fond of Baby Einstein (the thing most mention in articles related to tv and infants). He prefers Pixar stuff. Not sure what that says about the TYPE of brain damage I'm inflicting upon him ...

What to do, what to do?

While pregnant, I read the obligatory baby's first year books and decided that I should breastfeed lil' Monkey until his first birthday because it's the American Association of Pediatrics recommendation. However, once he came and I tried to breastfeed him the hospital, it turned out to be much harder than I expected. I found it humiliating that I couldn't do it and felt pressured to get SOMETHING in him since his jaundice levels were so high. We opted for bottles by day two with the expectation that once his jaundice levels went down, I'd try breastfeeding again.

When his jaundice levels were acceptable, the hospital let us take him home (day four) and I tried again. It still proved very hard but DH pushed me to continue. I resented him at the time for it. He bargained with me to give it 6 weeks. If it still wasn't working and I still hated it, then we'd go to bottles. I thought, "6 weeks! That's a long time!"

By the end of the 6 weeks, lil' Monkey and I were doing better in the breastfeeding department. I wouldn't say outstanding but enough that I decided perhaps going a year wouldn't be so bad. We're still breastfeeding today, a day before he turns 9 months old! So I'm really proud of both of us for hanging in there and working on this.

However, a year, my original commitment and goal, is just around the corner. I'm debating on whether or not I should stop. There are benefits to both sides of the argument.

On the one hand, I think, "Boy! It would be really nice to have my breasts back! To wear a real bra! To have somewhat uniform breasts again!" (One is extremely larger than the other because Monkey doesn't like drinking from the other one. So I've pretty much let it go dormant after many struggles and a mastitis infection because using the pump didn't drain it like he could -- if he would!)

On the other hand, I know that not having to make bottles while at home with him has been a real time saver. Not to mention my hands would probably be even more dry and cracked if I had to wash bottles all of the time. We're also not so great at it in public. (Lying down is best -- but he will feed with me sitting up if the place is quiet enough. Good luck with that in the mall! Even the bathrooms have loud music pumped into them!) So the "He has food anywhere you are" argument doesn't really work. But the time saving, less coarse hands and health benefits for him might outweigh the need to regain breast freedom.

Then there's the bonding. I really didn't truly understand this one until around Christmastime last year. We were visiting my MIL in NC and Monkey was having a hard time sleeping. DH leans more to the Ferber side of things and I'm somewhere right of Sears, so we were arguing about what to do. I had JUST read in a book I was reading that breastfeeding is more than nutrition. It's a way of soothing a baby, bringing him/her to a familiar place where they are comforted. A mother recounted a time when her son had fallen and bumped his head. He was so upset that holding him didn't work, kissing didn't work, his favorite toy didn't work but BREASTFEEDING helped him calm down. I pointed this out to DH and ever since reading that mother's account, I've kept this notion in the back of my mind. Recently, I did just what she did when Monkey decided that he was going to try to climb the dryer while I was putting clothes in it. He bumped his head and was really upset. The breastfeeding calmed him down and he even made a little sigh afterwards like "oh that's the stuff!".

Still, whenever I see my regular bras in my dresser drawer, I long for breast freedom. I'm just not sure. I guess I'll do what I always do and just go with it until something clearly steers me away from it.

Politics Wed: Superdelegates

As promised, I am going to try to continue the Politics Wed posts once a month. So here we go!

I thought I'd take some time out to cover the "Superdelegate" concept that has been so hot in the news lately.

Both parties have these so-called Superdelegates. So I'm going to cover how each works. First the Dems (because D comes before R).

The Democrats

These select group of people are chosen due to their status as "current or former elected officeholders and party officials". There are 784 Superdelegates and they "make up approximately one-fifth of the total number of delegates". (Both quotes are from, you guessed it, Wikipedia.) Democrats require proportional representation. Supers are not obligated, however, to vote for the candidate supported by its constituency.

For an EXCELLENT, seriously EXCELLENT, write up and discourse on the Democratic Superdelegates, visit demconwatch.blogspot.com here. It has the rules for being one, the ACTUAL Supers, and their current position. Kudos to whomever put that together. It must have taken quite some time. Time I don't have. ;)

The Republicans

These guys are little more organized in their selection of Supers, I must say. Two members of the Republican Party from each state and the state's party chairperson are automatically a Superdelegate (from Wikipedia). HOWEVER, each state can earn BONUS delegates by "having U.S. Senators and governors from the Republican Party, sending a majority-Republican delegation to the U.S. House, maintaining partial or total Republican control of the state legislature ..." (From Wikipedia). Republicans do not require proportional representation.

Why this is important

Now, the Republicans Supers aren't quite that important this election. But the Democrats Supers are CRUCIAL since the race between Clinton and Obama is so close.

This article does a good job of breaking down the different scenarios for how the Democratic Nomination may play out.

So if you are a Democrat, or if you just want to weigh in on the issue, how do YOU feel about the Superdelegate concept (below is how I feel BTW)?

Warning: SOAPBOX AREA

First, I don't like that a bunch of rich, mostly white men get to vote any which way they choose and pretty much override the public's choice. That's undemocratic, if you ask me.

Clinton's camp has openly declared that she is relying on the Supers to boost her numbers over the lead Obama has in the popular vote. This pisses me off and makes me regret voting for her. Unfortunately, for me and my vote, this story "broke" the day after my regional primary.

Now I understand the need for "tie-breakers" should that scenario ever occur. But the one thing that makes Washington so corrupt is the lobbying of the politicians. And here we are, with our FUTURE presidents, LOBBYING other politicians for the job. Just more ways to be corrupt, if you ask me. In the REAL WORLD, at least for those of us not born with a silver spoon in our mouth, you INTERVIEW for the job and are chosen based on your merits and viability (i.e. salary requirements) -- maybe we should put that into the Presidential race? Who will cost us less and produce more!

What are YOUR salary requirements, Clinton, McCain and Obama?!! Maybe that $400,000/yr should be negotiable based on what you bring to the table! Maybe Obama is the "recent college grad" in this scenario since the media and the other candidate's keep focusing on his inexperience! Or maybe Clinton and McCain are the overpaid deadwood and need to be "let go" (or the one I like hearing around the office, "asked to leave")!

Okay, I think my train just left the tracks. But you get my point through my weird metaphor, I hope. When will they stop talking about how the American people matter and truly listen to what we're saying? Starting with the popular vote!