Book Review: Sippy Cups are not for Chardonnay

As obnoxious as it might sound (or read) as I'm writing this ... I like to think of myself as a hip mom with wit, style and well, no, not class. Therefore, the title of this book (and the fact that Molly Shannon from SNL thought it was was good) made it instantly appealing to me. Plus, I like wine.

Now a little forewarning before going any further in this post. This book is not for the Sanctimommies out there. Those who are not comfortable with cursing might not want to read this book either. The author, Stefanie Wilder-Taylor, doesn't curse a whole lot but it's enough that some might be offended. Also, she touches on subjects some might not wish to address (such as sex) and is really BLUNT about other things. I plan on posting a few tidbits from this book, so beware!

Wilder-Taylor covers typical mommy topics such as going to mommy groups, dealing with the Alpha Mom and sex after baby from her point of view. Although in some instances she's giving advice, this book isn't a reference book by any means and she's clearly kidding in some parts.

Below are a few bits I found very amusing (I won't post too many so not to spoil the fun should you read it!):

ON BABY MONITORS --

"Some people get the video monitors so they can keep an eye on their baby, as though they're working the night shift at 7-eleven and their baby's a potential shoplifter."

ON BABY EINSTEIN --

"I have to say, watching a puppet in a raspberry beret speak with a bad French accent is downright frightening -- unless you're buzzed, then' it's hilarious ... "

ON PACKING A DIAPER BAG --

"I know a lot of women still stuff steamer trunks like they're going on the Gilligan's Island 'three hour cruise,' secretly thinking they might be stuck somewhere with their baby for eight seasons."

Overall, the book was a delightful read. But there were a few instances when the comedic timing was a little redundant for me. I'm obviously not a comedian but have been to enough comedy shows and followed enough comedians to know a little bit about what makes funny, funny. As I was reading, I'd sometimes, hear the ol' "Ba Da Dum" drum roll after her punchlines in my head and that was the first clue maybe the comedic timing was getting a little old. HOWEVER, don't let this turn you away from this book (if you can put up with the aforementioned cursing and bluntness anyway). It's really funny and I seriously LOLed more than a dozen times. Once was while flying to Florida. I had my headphones on while reading and didn't quite realize how loud the laugh really was. That was embarrassing! The book also made me realize that I have a lot in common with yet another mom on this planet (which always feels good) and she made me think about some things in a different light (for instance, why going to Mommy and Me groups can be beneficial).

If you do buy this book, I hope you enjoy it as much as I did!

BTW, IF you read this book and you know me personally, I'd like to know which type of mommy you think I am. I think I lie somewhere between the dreaded Alpha Mom, Drama Mama and Freshman Mom (if that's possible).

Is this meant to be?!

As many of you know or have gathered from my previous posts, I've been having a little difficulty managing my work schedule and well, the rest of my life. Here's a quick recap, in case you're new to Cirque du Bebe or haven't visited us in a while. We've decided that getting someone to come to the house is not only a little scary (because DH doesn't want to leave lil' Monkey alone with them) but also a major pain since we'd be in charge of payroll and taxes for this new employee. Then I decided that maybe putting together an exact schedule in Excel would help me focus on a proper schedule and strive harder to get Monkey to stick to one. This plan blew up within a day.

So as I was scanning through one of the freebie local newspapers that litter our mailbox twice a week (looking for houses, in vain), I noticed the Child Care section and the ads within it. There were several ads but one in particular caught my attention.

The lady tends the nursery at her church, she is state certified and licensed and has, most importantly, an opening for P/T care (most want your kid there F/T). Without thinking, I called her late this afternoon at what was probably the most inconvenient time for her -- around the time parents would be picking up their kids. I didn't mean to call at a bad time but she handled it well, took my information and asked if she could call me back in the evening. I gave her my information and anxiously waited for her to call later. I just had a feeling about this one and desperately hoping I was right.

She called at 6:35 which on a normal Wednesday night would have been a nightmare for me since it's raid night for DH and he usually gets home just in time to give Monkey his bath and then head off for the game. But for some reason, DH got home early (could it have been my comment yesterday? probably.) and he was taking care of Monkey's solids and finishing up dinner. Perfect! I could talk on the phone with the lady and not have too many interruptions!

As we talked, everything she said was great. Certified CPR/First Aid. Check. State license whereby the state checks in every 3 months. Check. Opening on Wednesdays so I can attend the tech meetings at work. Check.

NOW HERE'S THE GOOD PART! As we were talking, she said "Do you know the NAME OMITTED Family Dentistry?"

I think my heart actually stopped, "Yes!" I replied, "They're OUR dentist!"

She said, "Oh then you know Greg? I babysit his kids for him." WOW. MY DENTIST takes his kids there! I mean, what more could you want?! I have to think that this was MEANT TO BE!

Monkey and I are going to meet her on Friday to see the house and see how he reacts and stuff. I'm hoping everything works out with this. I'm so excited!

Keep your fingers crossed and say a prayer for us that this is a good fit for us! YAY!

SWF -- Something Worth Forwarding

In effort to throw a bit of water on any flames I might have started with my Incendiary Viral Crap post, I'd like to start a new email phenomenon. I'm calling it Something Worth Forwarding (SWF).

Here are the rules for SWFs:

1. Each time you get an IVC, hit reply all and send SOMETHING WORTH FORWARDING to all of them with the acronym SWF at the beginning of the email. For instance, if you get an IVC, hit the reply button, enter some text containing USEFUL information (for our example, it's about junk emails), then change the subject to read "SWF: remove junk mail from your inbox".


2. It CANNOT contain anything relating to "Pass this onto 10 friends or ... " -- that is unless you're completely kidding and making fun of those types of emails.


3. It CANNOT be a petition of any kind.


4. It MUST contain helpful information that people can actually use in their lives. The information should be something every person, regardless of religious or political beliefs, can act on or participate in. I realize this is subjective but give it some serious thought as to whether you'd truly find the information useful.


5. When forwarding a SWF, click the forward button but before pressing send, please delete the addresses of everyone it was forwarded to previously which show up in the body of the message.

Occasionally, I will be posting SWFs here that I have forwarded onto those sending IVCs so you can have some fodder for your next SWF!

Please don't grow up

I went to lunch with a friend today and it was good to get out of the house to converse with her. Both being mothers, the majority of our conversation was about our children and parenthood. We touched on the subject of what age we like or think we will like the most during our children's lives.

I can't say I know exactly what age I will treasure most or feel is the best age group, but I can say that the first 2-3 months were torture for me after lil' Monkey was born. The adjustment to our lifestyle changing, not knowing what I was doing as a mother, learning how to breastfeed, getting him on a schedule, etc. were just trying on DH and I. Plus, I think all of the struggle didn't seem *gasp* worth it since he wasn't really doing anything at that point.

When started showing us his first social smile and recognizing us, my attitude and outlook on life with child changed a little. Each day became a quest to make him smile. Then when he started giggling, the quest changed to find stuff to make him laugh (which BTW, his father is so much better at than I am and I'm SO jealous).

With each new milestone now comes new challenges in babyproofing and lil' Monkey is just growing so quickly that you can now see the little boy about to emerge and less of the baby. As I checked in on him tonight, shortly after he went to sleep, he was lying there in his crib with one of his favorite bedfellows, the hammer. He was sleeping on his side with his arms stretched out in front of him, grasping it with both hands. He's so cute in that position; one we've seen a lot lately. I wish I could somehow put a silencer on our camera and take that shot without waking him.

It's at these moments I wish I could freeze time just for a bit and enjoy this tiny baby boy for a little while longer. I love you lil' Monkey and no matter how big you get, you'll still be my lil' Monkey. (But I promise I'll stop calling you that by high school ... maybe.)

Incendiary Viral Crap

I have a BIG pet peeve that someone in my family has been irritating even more recently. This pet peeve involves these incendiary, viral emails. You know the ones I'm talking about. The ones meant to piss you off so much about some hot button political or religious issue that you just HAVE to send it to everyone you know. From here on out, I'm calling them IVCs -- short for INCENDIARY VIRAL CRAP.

This relative has sent me a few of these in the past few weeks. The latest caused me to write this post.

The IVC in question has a subject of "The New Dollar -- Don't Accept These". I knew just looking at the subject I WAS going to be pissed but not because of the warning or advice inside the IVC. I opened it and yes, it made FALSE claims about how the new U.S. dollar coin does NOT feature "In God We Trust".

Now, as I usually do with IVCs, I headed straight to SNOPES.COM (which I've advised this person to do on NUMEROUS occasions) to find out the truth. AND AS USUAL, the email was complete BS. "In God We Trust" IS STILL FEATURED on the coin. It's just on the side of the coin now so it's not as predominant.

You know, the Internet can help us enlighten ourselves and be this great expanse of knowledge for our benefit. OR it can be a vehicle for hatemongering, ill-informed word vomit that drags us into the pit of idiocracy.

I mean really people, don't we have much more to worry about than what is printed on our money? And I know the arguments, "This country was founded on God.", "Our forefathers meant for it to be that way", "The majority of our country is Christian, so shouldn't it represent the majority because majority rules?" HOW ABOUT THIS? I think our money should say, "Cash rules everything around me" because it's appropriate for every American, including myself. We can't live without it, we can't survive without it. Don't even try to fool yourself for one moment by thinking otherwise. Even if you live simply, there's always someone to pay for the shelter you reside in, the clothes on your back or even the materials used to make them or the car you drive to work, etc.

So if you're looking for truth, how about telling it like it is? Say it with me, CASH RULES EVERYTHING AROUND ME. I guess it's just easier for people to just forward the email instead of questioning its ligitimacy and finding the truth.

Whew. Did I just contribute to the flame? Probably and for that I apologize.

NOTE: Isn't lovely that Ann Coulter comes up as a link in the Free Dictionary's definition page of hatemonger?

ANOTHER NOTE: The argument about "our forefathers wanted it that way" is incorrect. In 1956, Congress changed the motto to "In God We Trust". The original motto, "E Pluribus Unum" is Latin for "Out of many, one".

LOST: Sawyer nickname? Real life nicknames?

I think, if I remember correctly, a couple of the few readers I have are LOST fans. So I thought some of you might enjoy this little game: Sawyer's Nickname Generator.

My nickname was Grimace the first time and Avalanche the second after changing a few entries. Both seem kinda lame if you ask me. Especially since Grimace is the big purple guy from the McDonald's commercials.

My hubby used to call me Doo Doo Brown because I like the song and was trying to explain it's significance to the Baltimore dance scene when we first met. I'm pretty sure he thought I was silly and after listening to the song had a new appreciation for all of the facets of my personality. I think I still like Doo Doo more than Sawyer's nicknames even though it's spawned new names like Poopyface. Romantic, isn't it?

BTW, NO ONE but my hubby is allowed to call me Doo Doo or Poopyface!

Happy Valentine's Day!

Politics Wed: New Schedule

I'm all about schedules now although Monkey and I both can't seem to stick one and quite frankly a weekly post about the Presidential Race just isn't in the cards. I should have known better to tackle something like this and I apologize to any readers and especially my Journalism professors for the lack of quality in these posts (I'd be totally embarrassed if a prof read one!). Plus, since the primaries are almost over and since my primary is over, the "Chesapeake" Primary or whatever they're calling it, I'm going to be a little selfish and start only posting Politics Wednesdays stuff once a month. Most likely the beginning of the month or maybe if my schedule still doesn't permit, only "that time of the month" since it's been a quarterly experience since I gave birth (TMI, sorry!).

Just as final word to our original assignment, the candidate who I was supposed to vote for according to my candidate quiz results in the beginning, Bill Richardson, is obviously not a contender any longer. Just before the Chesapeake Primary, I re-quizzed myself and came up perfectly split between the two remaining Democratic contenders (yes, I'm an Independent but that's what the results were). So then I researched both of their sites on the issues I care about most: Education, Families (specifically Working Mothers and the Middle Class), and the Environment. And while they had some differences, there wasn't anything too striking (at least IMO) that separated the two of them. Therefore, RIGHT up until I actually got to the voting booth I had no idea of who I would vote for, Obama or Clinton? Obama or Clinton? Obama or Clinton? I asked lil' Monkey who he would vote for and he just stared at me blankly. "What do you want from me? I'm 8 months old, woman!" AND he felt asleep on me just as we pulled into the parking of the school where we're supposed to vote! Some help!

In the end, I went with my gut and my gut said a woman understands women and that's that. Honestly, while I'm not absolutely gushing over any candidate and while I still think the guys at South Park have it right about candidates for just about any election, I'm not completely appalled by any of the candidates on either side. So YAY America, for not leaving us with any complete assholes this time!